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my bdae celebration
Oct. 1st, 2007 | 11:09 am
mood: 
loved
PLEASE ASK ME HOW OLD I AM!!! =)
omg omg omg..i cant believe tt i haf finally finally finally turned 18!!!
i can finally finally go clubbing..but e hot spots like MOS & ZOUK r rejected..
why?
BCUZ THEY RAISED E AGE LIMIT TO 21 FOR GIRLS 1 week pluz b4 i turned 18!!!
like WTH..cant they impose tis rule on 1st Oct??
at least let me visit 1x i oso happy.. *grumbling*
anyway tis year celebration iz damn exaggerating..
months n months b4 my actual bdae, i haf alreadi received my 1st 18th bdae present..
sunday was my actual bdae..but on tues, celebration haf alreadi kicked off..
25th Sep (tues)
okay..i swore tt i didnt expect e girls will celebrate my bdae together wif min..
i tot it was PURELY min bdae celebration onli..
ended up wen they sang e happy bdae song wif MY NAME..
i was like mouth opened..
kept pushing e ben&jerry to min n e girls was like
FASTER LA..E CANDLE N E ICECREAM MELTING LIAO!
i onli finally blew e candle wen i saw e wax dripped on e icecream -_-
den they brought out e obviously anyhow wrapped present,insisted us to open
n there u can c e opened present..
initially i tot it was juz a glass box den after sum time they asked us to open..
i was like WAD FOR?
den wen i opened..
surprise surprise..
there iz a necklace n an anklet inside!!!
ha!
okay e necklace iz damn nice..wif e thick chain n e rainbow add on J pendant..
i juz LOVE THEM!!!
min n i had e same necklace but of cuz wif diff pendant la..
i love them i love them i LOVE THEM! =)
p/s missing girls in e photos are sam n hannah..
CHANG E & HOU YI
after sch..was supposed to meet houyi aka aaron at 7 (!)
lazed ard at jurong point..
was supposed to dine at swensen but e queue was alreadi v.v.v.long wen i reached..
so we changed to Fish&Co..
no queue..nice food..
smart choice..
bcuz we were supposed to celebrate mooncake festival n haf mooncake after dinner,
we didnt ordered much..
Seafood platter for 1 add on 5 bucks for SOD n Cola Tonic
Butter Garlic Mussels
YUMMY..
was a treat from aaron..
my 1st bdae dinner treat.. =)
walked for 1 hr to my hse n oso in search of my lantern
but all e shops were either closed or nvr sell..
so....no lantern..
we played wif MANY MANY MANY candles n sparkles n i blew 18 candle bundled together..
wasnt easy i tell u..
rmb e saying one chopstick easier to break than 2?
in tis case..
one candle easier to blow than 18(!)
27th Sep (thurs)
booked e kbox bdae package..
went wif qiongzhi jiayi cheng long n grabbed along lindy..
okay..here iz e surprise part..
i totally didnt expect qiongzhi n jiayi to gif me a bra!
its in e background..from pierre cardin..
thank u lovely..
28th Sep (fri)
im so lookin forward for tis dae..
why?
bcuz my ex ex clazmates w26a ppl r celebrating wif me!!!
i missed them sooooo much..
they gave me tis super big present..3/4 of my size?
n i had trouble carrying..
went to Jack's place for dinner n they surprised me wif tis chocolate mousse cake..
thank u!!! =)
29th Sep (sat)
met up wif jie n her bf..
they decided to dine at Plaza Market Cafe..
45++ bucks per pax..
so ex can..
was expecting heavenly food since e price iz damn darn good..
but..no..wasnt tt nice..
deserts choices were heavenly though..
gt chocolate fondue n e durian mixed tingy..
=)
justin came over find me..den we went to joey hse for my 2nd celebration..
initially joey told me there iz no bdae cake but ltr on her mouth slipped n
ha! there iz my BELOVED ICE CREAM CAKE!!!
another surprise was a big big mushroom..i love it!!
30th Sep (sunday)
tis special dae iz reserved for my parents..
they totally surprised me wif e cake cuz like joey..
they told me there wont be cake for todae..
cute n lovely parents!!! =)
my overall present received
1st bdae present - a DANO top - yulin
2nd bdae present - glass box n DIVA necklace - e girls
3rd bdae present - anklet - min
4th bdae present - PIERRE CARDINE bra - qiongzhi n jiayi
5th bdae present - Huge DollHouse - w26a
6th bdae present - water bottle n card - yonlee
7th bdae present - MINIBITS necklace - huimin
8th bdae present - Pink Mushroom - kaiyu
9th bdae present - PERLINI'S SILVER earrings - justin
10th bdae present - Huge Red Mushroom - joey,qi n virgin
i love them all soooo much..
thank u ppl =)
3 days WOMAD event wif vanessa..
omg omg omg..i cant believe tt i haf finally finally finally turned 18!!!
i can finally finally go clubbing..but e hot spots like MOS & ZOUK r rejected..
why?
BCUZ THEY RAISED E AGE LIMIT TO 21 FOR GIRLS 1 week pluz b4 i turned 18!!!
like WTH..cant they impose tis rule on 1st Oct??
at least let me visit 1x i oso happy.. *grumbling*
anyway tis year celebration iz damn exaggerating..
months n months b4 my actual bdae, i haf alreadi received my 1st 18th bdae present..
sunday was my actual bdae..but on tues, celebration haf alreadi kicked off..
25th Sep (tues)
okay..i swore tt i didnt expect e girls will celebrate my bdae together wif min..
i tot it was PURELY min bdae celebration onli..
ended up wen they sang e happy bdae song wif MY NAME..
i was like mouth opened..
kept pushing e ben&jerry to min n e girls was like
FASTER LA..E CANDLE N E ICECREAM MELTING LIAO!
i onli finally blew e candle wen i saw e wax dripped on e icecream -_-
den they brought out e obviously anyhow wrapped present,insisted us to open
n there u can c e opened present..
initially i tot it was juz a glass box den after sum time they asked us to open..
i was like WAD FOR?
den wen i opened..
surprise surprise..
there iz a necklace n an anklet inside!!!
ha!
okay e necklace iz damn nice..wif e thick chain n e rainbow add on J pendant..
i juz LOVE THEM!!!
min n i had e same necklace but of cuz wif diff pendant la..
i love them i love them i LOVE THEM! =)
p/s missing girls in e photos are sam n hannah..
CHANG E & HOU YI
after sch..was supposed to meet houyi aka aaron at 7 (!)
lazed ard at jurong point..
was supposed to dine at swensen but e queue was alreadi v.v.v.long wen i reached..
so we changed to Fish&Co..
no queue..nice food..
smart choice..
bcuz we were supposed to celebrate mooncake festival n haf mooncake after dinner,
we didnt ordered much..
Seafood platter for 1 add on 5 bucks for SOD n Cola Tonic
Butter Garlic Mussels
YUMMY..
was a treat from aaron..
my 1st bdae dinner treat.. =)
walked for 1 hr to my hse n oso in search of my lantern
but all e shops were either closed or nvr sell..
so....no lantern..
we played wif MANY MANY MANY candles n sparkles n i blew 18 candle bundled together..
wasnt easy i tell u..
rmb e saying one chopstick easier to break than 2?
in tis case..
one candle easier to blow than 18(!)
27th Sep (thurs)
booked e kbox bdae package..
went wif qiongzhi jiayi cheng long n grabbed along lindy..
okay..here iz e surprise part..
i totally didnt expect qiongzhi n jiayi to gif me a bra!
its in e background..from pierre cardin..
thank u lovely..
28th Sep (fri)
im so lookin forward for tis dae..
why?
bcuz my ex ex clazmates w26a ppl r celebrating wif me!!!
i missed them sooooo much..
they gave me tis super big present..3/4 of my size?
n i had trouble carrying..
went to Jack's place for dinner n they surprised me wif tis chocolate mousse cake..
thank u!!! =)
29th Sep (sat)
met up wif jie n her bf..
they decided to dine at Plaza Market Cafe..
45++ bucks per pax..
so ex can..
was expecting heavenly food since e price iz damn darn good..
but..no..wasnt tt nice..
deserts choices were heavenly though..
gt chocolate fondue n e durian mixed tingy..
=)
justin came over find me..den we went to joey hse for my 2nd celebration..
initially joey told me there iz no bdae cake but ltr on her mouth slipped n
ha! there iz my BELOVED ICE CREAM CAKE!!!
another surprise was a big big mushroom..i love it!!
30th Sep (sunday)
tis special dae iz reserved for my parents..
they totally surprised me wif e cake cuz like joey..
they told me there wont be cake for todae..
cute n lovely parents!!! =)
my overall present received
1st bdae present - a DANO top - yulin
2nd bdae present - glass box n DIVA necklace - e girls
3rd bdae present - anklet - min
4th bdae present - PIERRE CARDINE bra - qiongzhi n jiayi
5th bdae present - Huge DollHouse - w26a
6th bdae present - water bottle n card - yonlee
7th bdae present - MINIBITS necklace - huimin
8th bdae present - Pink Mushroom - kaiyu
9th bdae present - PERLINI'S SILVER earrings - justin
10th bdae present - Huge Red Mushroom - joey,qi n virgin
i love them all soooo much..
thank u ppl =)
3 days WOMAD event wif vanessa..
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randommm
Jul. 26th, 2007 | 10:38 am
location: RP E46A Team 4
mood: 
high
i tink sometimes i care too much for ppl tt don bloody gif a shit bout me...
i tink my period iz getting e better of me..
i tink my shit iz stuck..
i tink i haf fallen..
i tink im watching TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much movies..
i tink my money realli needs replenishment..
i tink i shld bloody lose weight..
i tink m&m r sooooo nice..
i tink he iz such a flirt..
i tink im MADDD!!
i tink my period iz getting e better of me..
i tink my shit iz stuck..
i tink i haf fallen..
i tink im watching TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much movies..
i tink my money realli needs replenishment..
i tink i shld bloody lose weight..
i tink m&m r sooooo nice..
i tink he iz such a flirt..
i tink im MADDD!!
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thank u
Jul. 16th, 2007 | 09:13 am
location: RP E46A Team 4
mood: 
grateful
im glad my life i haf got ppl tt will oways be there for me..
ppl tt will tell me tings tt makes sense..
ppl tt will let me know wad iz wrong wad iz right..
ppl tt will wake me up..
ppl tt will not let me be alone..
im glad tt i haf got all these ppl ard me..
despite people disliking me..people hating me..
there r still ppl hu love me!!!
ppl hu love me for who i am..ppl hu love jaslyn tan chew ling..
thank u..deep down thank u......
i don haf to mind hz others look at me..
esp others tt don matters to me..
i don haf to be upset bcuz of what others says..
bcuz they r nothing to me n likewise shld their words be nothing..
jaslyn tan chew ling..
ure 18 tis year..
u gotta grow up..realli grow up..
stop hafing childish thoughts..
stop behaving kiddishly..
start helping in sum household chores..
start looking at e frenz ard u..hu r good hu r bad..
eliminate those tt r using u..
eliminate those tt haf motive being wif u..
treasure those tt treat u as frenz..
treasure those tt mind hz u tink..care for u..
list them down..
JOEYTEO
peiqi
AUNTIEPAT
unclesteven
BENEDICT
huimin
SHIMIN
ellise
VANESSA
kerine
actually there iz still mani to name..but these r those tt r frequently appearing in my life..
i love u people! i realli do..
even if i seldom contact..but i realli do treasure u people!
ppl tt will tell me tings tt makes sense..
ppl tt will let me know wad iz wrong wad iz right..
ppl tt will wake me up..
ppl tt will not let me be alone..
im glad tt i haf got all these ppl ard me..
despite people disliking me..people hating me..
there r still ppl hu love me!!!
ppl hu love me for who i am..ppl hu love jaslyn tan chew ling..
thank u..deep down thank u......
i don haf to mind hz others look at me..
esp others tt don matters to me..
i don haf to be upset bcuz of what others says..
bcuz they r nothing to me n likewise shld their words be nothing..
jaslyn tan chew ling..
ure 18 tis year..
u gotta grow up..realli grow up..
stop hafing childish thoughts..
stop behaving kiddishly..
start helping in sum household chores..
start looking at e frenz ard u..hu r good hu r bad..
eliminate those tt r using u..
eliminate those tt haf motive being wif u..
treasure those tt treat u as frenz..
treasure those tt mind hz u tink..care for u..
list them down..
JOEYTEO
peiqi
AUNTIEPAT
unclesteven
BENEDICT
huimin
SHIMIN
ellise
VANESSA
kerine
actually there iz still mani to name..but these r those tt r frequently appearing in my life..
i love u people! i realli do..
even if i seldom contact..but i realli do treasure u people!
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monkey donkey years
Jul. 12th, 2007 | 10:53 am
location: RP E46A Team 4
mood: 
bored
im so so so BORED..
donkey monkey years never update n so im here..
alot of changes in my life ma?
e so call spoilt brat me haf a job now..
working as a waitress at BigO..its in wheelock place..
i bloody swear upon my love for pink tt e food there iz super duper nice..
esp e deserts..
sweeties lovers out there..its a MUST GO okay..
ppl there r nice so far..
but hannah lovely scare me todae..
she warned me bout e politics at work..
like back stabbing...gossips...
gosh.....plz plz don let BigO staffs be like wad hannah sae okay..plz plz..
havent see "HIM" for quite sum time..
ard 1 week?
n so i tot tt no more infatuation nth le..
but no tis wasnt so..
i saw "HIM" todae..
n juz wen i tot i was normal..i was fine..
my eyes my head was all turned to "HIM"..
i guess.....i still need time..alot of time..
my calcium came over to my hse...stayed over nite..
n in juz one night..no more longing feeling for him..no more missing him feeling..
it all feels so relax..
being wif him..as frenz..iz right..
tis r/s wasnt supposed to even start..
justinlee..
i asked him haf he changed..physically n mentally..
he said physically no..but mentality wise..yes..
he said e past justin iz no longer existing..he sae justin haf grown up..
n tis explains why justin haf changed so much..
tis explains why justin alreadi haf sum1 he like...he still can bloody flirt wif me like nobodys business..
n he even asked me to lie to daryl bout e donuts..
long story..
but WTF CAN..
its juz a box of donuts..
thanks to tis incident..
i too no longer wann justin back into my life..
justinlee..
flirting doesnt mean u haf grown up..
flirting doesnt mean u haf changed..
all tis juz further proves tt u r still as childish as eva..
justinlee..
one dae ull grow up..
one dae ull understand wad i meant..
one dae..........
n oh..
i decided to change my diet le..
nt gg to eat ani rubbish western food..
i mean yes im still hafing but nt everydae..
i wanna slim down..i realli realli do wanna slim down..
i don haf looks don haf character so i cant haf no figure..
blah blah blah..
im sleepy im bored im annoyed im tired!!!
donkey monkey years never update n so im here..
alot of changes in my life ma?
e so call spoilt brat me haf a job now..
working as a waitress at BigO..its in wheelock place..
i bloody swear upon my love for pink tt e food there iz super duper nice..
esp e deserts..
sweeties lovers out there..its a MUST GO okay..
ppl there r nice so far..
but hannah lovely scare me todae..
she warned me bout e politics at work..
like back stabbing...gossips...
gosh.....plz plz don let BigO staffs be like wad hannah sae okay..plz plz..
havent see "HIM" for quite sum time..
ard 1 week?
n so i tot tt no more infatuation nth le..
but no tis wasnt so..
i saw "HIM" todae..
n juz wen i tot i was normal..i was fine..
my eyes my head was all turned to "HIM"..
i guess.....i still need time..alot of time..
my calcium came over to my hse...stayed over nite..
n in juz one night..no more longing feeling for him..no more missing him feeling..
it all feels so relax..
being wif him..as frenz..iz right..
tis r/s wasnt supposed to even start..
justinlee..
i asked him haf he changed..physically n mentally..
he said physically no..but mentality wise..yes..
he said e past justin iz no longer existing..he sae justin haf grown up..
n tis explains why justin haf changed so much..
tis explains why justin alreadi haf sum1 he like...he still can bloody flirt wif me like nobodys business..
n he even asked me to lie to daryl bout e donuts..
long story..
but WTF CAN..
its juz a box of donuts..
thanks to tis incident..
i too no longer wann justin back into my life..
justinlee..
flirting doesnt mean u haf grown up..
flirting doesnt mean u haf changed..
all tis juz further proves tt u r still as childish as eva..
justinlee..
one dae ull grow up..
one dae ull understand wad i meant..
one dae..........
n oh..
i decided to change my diet le..
nt gg to eat ani rubbish western food..
i mean yes im still hafing but nt everydae..
i wanna slim down..i realli realli do wanna slim down..
i don haf looks don haf character so i cant haf no figure..
blah blah blah..
im sleepy im bored im annoyed im tired!!!
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it all juz sucks~
Jun. 29th, 2007 | 08:37 am
location: RP E46A Team 3
mood: 
blank
i DIDNT SEE "HIM' FOR ONE WHOLE DAY
n e ppl ard me r all hooked wif a fucking attitude!
EVERYTHING JUZ SEEMS SO NOT RIGHT
N IT JUZ
MAKES
ME
WANNA
DROPPED
DOWN
AND
CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n e ppl ard me r all hooked wif a fucking attitude!
EVERYTHING JUZ SEEMS SO NOT RIGHT
N IT JUZ
MAKES
ME
WANNA
DROPPED
DOWN
AND
CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WHACKO MOCKO
Jun. 28th, 2007 | 08:36 am
location: RP E46A Team 4
mood: 
annoyed
EARLY IN THE MORNING 8.20..
WTF OF ALL PPL GUESS WHO I SEE?
"HIM" "HIM" "HIM" -____________________-
sigh..why like tt?
why wen u wanna forget sum1..all e more tt sum1 will appear?
n oh..justinlee msg me..
tt nite i tot he wanted to gif me an ans..a reply..a rejection..
i nervous till literally wanna SHIT..
in e end..no nth..
n ytd..i learnt tt e girl he like..he wanna be wif..he cant live without (all tis he used to use it to describe me!!)
e girl he like..iz sum1 he known via clubbing..
dunno y..its like a direct slap to me..
he like sum1 through clubbling?!?!!
but ya la..girls tt club doesnt means she iz bad..she aint good..
but still.......sigh..
n ya..mycalcium im me ytd nite..
so mani tings in one dae..
im gg WHACKO MOCKO!!!
statistics ut later...............................kil me sum1~
WTF OF ALL PPL GUESS WHO I SEE?
"HIM" "HIM" "HIM" -____________________-
sigh..why like tt?
why wen u wanna forget sum1..all e more tt sum1 will appear?
n oh..justinlee msg me..
tt nite i tot he wanted to gif me an ans..a reply..a rejection..
i nervous till literally wanna SHIT..
in e end..no nth..
n ytd..i learnt tt e girl he like..he wanna be wif..he cant live without (
e girl he like..iz sum1 he known via clubbing..
dunno y..its like a direct slap to me..
he like sum1 through clubbling?!?!!
but ya la..girls tt club doesnt means she iz bad..she aint good..
but still.......sigh..
n ya..mycalcium im me ytd nite..
so mani tings in one dae..
im gg WHACKO MOCKO!!!
statistics ut later...............................kil me sum1~
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once again..its entry to do wif "HIM"
Jun. 26th, 2007 | 10:57 am
location: RP E46A Team 5
mood: 
numb
my emotions r still being controlled by "HIM" =(
but now it has changed..i no longer feel happy wen i see "HIM"..
i will onli go "bloody hell..y so 'lucky' can see "HIM" ?"
hopefully veri soon.....all e feelins i haf for "HIM"..all e desire i haf to see "HIM" will be gone..
soon i hope..........
bcuz now..im caught in e middle..
cant stop myself from gg giraffe..spotting for "HIM"..
but at e same time..i will feel fugly wen i see "HIM"..
see??? i dont even noe to feel ecstatic or upset or angry or disgusted wen i see "HIM"..
sighhhhhhhhhhhh
but i bet......if all my break out i gif it to xiaoxian..she will help me to lessen e feelins i haf for "HIM"..
she will let me feel disgusted wen i see "HIM"..
so i shld spend all my time wif her...rite?
she has got
sum1 she WANTS
sum1 she LIKES
n
sum1 tt will PAMPER her..
n
n
she has got mani gf-s..
so she shld stop..letting "HIM" control her emotions..
she shld tink off every1 bside her..n b grateful! =)
but now it has changed..i no longer feel happy wen i see "HIM"..
i will onli go "bloody hell..y so 'lucky' can see "HIM" ?"
hopefully veri soon.....all e feelins i haf for "HIM"..all e desire i haf to see "HIM" will be gone..
soon i hope..........
bcuz now..im caught in e middle..
cant stop myself from gg giraffe..spotting for "HIM"..
but at e same time..i will feel fugly wen i see "HIM"..
see??? i dont even noe to feel ecstatic or upset or angry or disgusted wen i see "HIM"..
sighhhhhhhhhhhh
but i bet......if all my break out i gif it to xiaoxian..she will help me to lessen e feelins i haf for "HIM"..
she will let me feel disgusted wen i see "HIM"..
so i shld spend all my time wif her...rite?
she has got
sum1 she WANTS
sum1 she LIKES
n
sum1 tt will PAMPER her..
n
n
she has got mani gf-s..
so she shld stop..letting "HIM" control her emotions..
she shld tink off every1 bside her..n b grateful! =)
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randomise
Jun. 25th, 2007 | 10:34 am
location: RP E46A Team2
mood: gloomy
its self deceiving i noe but...tis iz e onli way..
i told myself..tis week iz a new start..
1. CANNOT LEAVE SCH..no matter hz hard hz lost hz difficult it seems to be..i muz i gotta i haf to hang on carry on continue on...
2. STOP THINKING ABOUT JUSTINLEE..i told him hz i felt..n he chose to not ans me..but wad ans do i expect from him anyway? he alreadi gt sum1 he like..he alreadi make himself clear..im e one being thick skinned...
3. CANNOT LOOK AT "HIM"..tis iz a fruitless liking sum1..nt onli its fruitless..it will onli make me feel more upset..it will onli make me feel more no confident..it will onli wear me down..
im realli trying my best...im trying my best to STOP lookin at "HIM" even though i noe where "HIM" iz..im trying my best yet my best iz NOT e best..
bcuz i still gt myself feeling down todae...
i saw "HIM" frenz n i tot "HIM" will be wif them..but no...."HIM" wasnt there..
n wen "HIM" frenz saw me..they gave e shudder action..
"HIM" frenz might probably b thinking - eee y so suay see tt disgusting act cute freak?
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
jaslyn ah jaslyn don let "HIM" frenz get u down okay..
turn ur like into hatred..into dislike..
don make urself xin ku..don make urself upset..don let OTHERS esp not impt ppl get u down..
n plz STOP LOOKING OUTSIDE!!!
i told myself..tis week iz a new start..
1. CANNOT LEAVE SCH..no matter hz hard hz lost hz difficult it seems to be..i muz i gotta i haf to hang on carry on continue on...
2. STOP THINKING ABOUT JUSTINLEE..i told him hz i felt..n he chose to not ans me..but wad ans do i expect from him anyway? he alreadi gt sum1 he like..he alreadi make himself clear..im e one being thick skinned...
3. CANNOT LOOK AT "HIM"..tis iz a fruitless liking sum1..nt onli its fruitless..it will onli make me feel more upset..it will onli make me feel more no confident..it will onli wear me down..
im realli trying my best...im trying my best to STOP lookin at "HIM" even though i noe where "HIM" iz..im trying my best yet my best iz NOT e best..
bcuz i still gt myself feeling down todae...
i saw "HIM" frenz n i tot "HIM" will be wif them..but no...."HIM" wasnt there..
n wen "HIM" frenz saw me..they gave e shudder action..
"HIM" frenz might probably b thinking - eee y so suay see tt disgusting act cute freak?
sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
jaslyn ah jaslyn don let "HIM" frenz get u down okay..
turn ur like into hatred..into dislike..
don make urself xin ku..don make urself upset..don let OTHERS esp not impt ppl get u down..
n plz STOP LOOKING OUTSIDE!!!
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=(
Jun. 22nd, 2007 | 10:40 am
location: RP E46A Team3
mood: 
crushed
i wanna CRY can..
muz be my period playing me..muz be my period making me so moody n upset..
my emotions iz being controlled by "HIM" =(
"HIM" frenz..
i swear they realli realli don like me..e incident tt happened juz nw..
onli further proves tt im right..
at e time wen im feelin confident..thrilled..
"HIM" frenz haf to crush me down..
n e best part was........
"HIM" joined "HIM" frenz laughters juz now..
p/s laughters = laughing at me = 99.9% accurate
buddy..if ure reading now..can we plz leave?
i fucking-ly don care bout e UT im hafing ltr..
i juz wanna leave..
im breaking down!!! ='(
muz be my period playing me..muz be my period making me so moody n upset..
my emotions iz being controlled by "HIM" =(
"HIM" frenz..
i swear they realli realli don like me..e incident tt happened juz nw..
onli further proves tt im right..
at e time wen im feelin confident..thrilled..
"HIM" frenz haf to crush me down..
n e best part was........
"HIM" joined "HIM" frenz laughters juz now..
p/s laughters = laughing at me = 99.9% accurate
buddy..if ure reading now..can we plz leave?
i fucking-ly don care bout e UT im hafing ltr..
i juz wanna leave..
im breaking down!!! ='(
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attitude~
Jun. 21st, 2007 | 02:47 pm
location: RP E46A Team2
mood: bitchy
IM A FUCKING BITCH N I HAF A FUCKING ATTITUDE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SORRY FOR MY BAD ATTITUDE HARSH WORDS N DAMN STARES!!!
SORRY FOR MY BAD ATTITUDE HARSH WORDS N DAMN STARES!!!
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3rd entry of e day
Jun. 19th, 2007 | 10:18 pm
location: ButtAtHmChair
mood: 
moody
music: 吻感 - 方力申
funny ah..
hz ppl will behave tis way..
veri long nvr blog..once blog..will blog alot of times in one dae or will blog everydae..
-_-
min n me r like wad? twins?
both of us r feelin freaking emo,upset now..
no not now..iz since at sch..earlier part of e dae..
difference iz she cried..i didnt..
ooo hz i hate e thought of crying..
e thought of crying n really crying is different..
e thought of crying scares me..makes me feel lethargic..
realli crying reliefs all e bad bad feelins inside me..therefore i noe i will feel so much beta after a cry..
don emo le okay min..yu guo tian qing =)
its alreadi veri hard liking sum1 ure NOT supposed to - "HIM"..n esp u dunno where u shld go wad u shld do..
n now i added one more burden to myself..
i looked back to my bed of roses..
i missed my bed of roses..
i want it BACK soooooooooo badly.. - justinlee
i don haf e courage to contact him back..
n finally i did todae..
bcuz his msn nick gave me a tinge of hope..
n so i did..i msn-ed him..
in summary..all was me dreaming..me tinking tt perhaps perhaps tis guy still likes me..
he will still want a bitch tt hurt him tt gave him a nightmare back..
silly stupid missy jaslyn tan chew ling..wtF were u thinking?
u alreadi told urself zillion times tt u r pretty cute attractive good figure good complexion good character
NOT le..
so y did u haf that dumb tinge of hope???
like i sae..liking sum1 ure not supposed to iz tough enough as it iz..now i haf 2!
GREAT PERFECT EXCELLENT WELL DONE BRAVO!
p/s if i ended up gg kbox tml n not sentosa will xiaoxian be mad wif me?
hz ppl will behave tis way..
veri long nvr blog..once blog..will blog alot of times in one dae or will blog everydae..
-_-
min n me r like wad? twins?
both of us r feelin freaking emo,upset now..
no not now..iz since at sch..earlier part of e dae..
difference iz she cried..i didnt..
ooo hz i hate e thought of crying..
e thought of crying n really crying is different..
e thought of crying scares me..makes me feel lethargic..
realli crying reliefs all e bad bad feelins inside me..therefore i noe i will feel so much beta after a cry..
don emo le okay min..yu guo tian qing =)
its alreadi veri hard liking sum1 ure NOT supposed to - "HIM"..n esp u dunno where u shld go wad u shld do..
n now i added one more burden to myself..
i looked back to my bed of roses..
i missed my bed of roses..
i want it BACK soooooooooo badly.. - justinlee
i don haf e courage to contact him back..
n finally i did todae..
bcuz his msn nick gave me a tinge of hope..
n so i did..i msn-ed him..
in summary..all was me dreaming..me tinking tt perhaps perhaps tis guy still likes me..
he will still want a bitch tt hurt him tt gave him a nightmare back..
silly stupid missy jaslyn tan chew ling..wtF were u thinking?
u alreadi told urself zillion times tt u r pretty cute attractive good figure good complexion good character
NOT le..
so y did u haf that dumb tinge of hope???
like i sae..liking sum1 ure not supposed to iz tough enough as it iz..now i haf 2!
GREAT PERFECT EXCELLENT WELL DONE BRAVO!
p/s if i ended up gg kbox tml n not sentosa will xiaoxian be mad wif me?
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e story of "HIM"
Jun. 19th, 2007 | 09:07 pm
location: home
mood: 
apathetic
music: Family Affair - Mary J.Blige
tis story begins wif tis girl hafing tis soft spot for tis certain particular kind of "HIM"..however anyone in e right mind
meaning her frenz,ppl tt care for her will all object strongly to her tis soft spot..
but plz teach her..hz can she control herself NOT to like "HIM"???
weneva "HIM" appear,her eyes will shine,she will go all groggy in happiness..
in sch there is tis particular "HIM" tt realli caught her eyes n her mind..
n once her mind says tt -yes,i like "HIM"..she will try every means n ways to find out all she needs to noe
relating to e one she like..
soon..she knows wad claz "HIM" is in..n thanks to sum1..she knows "HIM" name too..
but there she iz stuck..where can she go from here? wad can she do to make herself n him frenz?
every single schooling dae..w/o fail..she wuld walk over to "HIM" claz,peeping in trying to spot "HIM"..bcuz all she wants for now iz to see "HIM" at least once a day..then she iz contended..
she knows it seems sick..she knows it seems weird..n she did realli tried to stop herself..
especially once wen she saw "HIM" waiting for SOMEONE alone in "HIM" claz..she found out ltr it was a girl "HIM" was waiting for .. *thunders rolling;hearts shattering*
she thought to herself tt tis girl muz either be her gf or sum1 "HIM" like..y else wuld "HIM" wait so long n alone for tt girl?
so she tried to stop herself from gg over to "HIM" claz..she tried to stop herself from looking at "HIM"..
she tried to stop herself from looking all over e canteen for "HIM"..
she tried to stop herself from going all groggy in happiness weneva she sees "HIM" coincidentally..
she tried to stop herself from tinking overly much weneva they met hz mani zillion times she n "HIM" will haf eye contact..
failed..she FAILED..
she cant stop herself..n soon she gives up..
u noe..wen e giving up,controlling part stops..e feelings will pour in..
as e feelings gradually increases,all e more she wanna know "HIM"..if it was e past she wuld probably go over to make frenz wif "HIM" but wad iz holding back her?
"HIM" friends..
she swears..really swears tt "HIM" frenz doesnt like her..in fact they most probably find her disgusting, act cute, bitchy..
n at tis point of time she doesnt understand..whY in e world wuld she behaves in tis way?
why in e world wuld her volume be loud n her tone to be pitchy?
but this is her..hz can she change? behaving bitchy iz bcuz she felt happy wen wif her frenz esp wif her buddy..weneva she iz wif her buddy,all e vulgarities,all e super loudhailer volume wuld be activated..
but weneva she iz wif her buddy she iz truly happy..she wuld haf laughters tt ache till e tears roll..
so hz can she go forward n let "HIM" know hz she feels?
n e main point still iz no one wuld support her..no one wuld be happy if she chose to go after "HIM"..plus imagine all e gossips tt will be gg ard in sch..
'neh neh..tt iz e girl hu wanna noe "HIM" lo..so bu yao nian'
-____________________________________-
thank u veri much..but realli..in my poly years..i don wann animore drama-mama life..i had enough in my pri n sec sch years..
in my poly years all i want iz a quiet n nobody knows me life..
EMO EMO GO AWAY
TEARS TEARS GO AWAY~
meaning her frenz,ppl tt care for her will all object strongly to her tis soft spot..
but plz teach her..hz can she control herself NOT to like "HIM"???
weneva "HIM" appear,her eyes will shine,she will go all groggy in happiness..
in sch there is tis particular "HIM" tt realli caught her eyes n her mind..
n once her mind says tt -yes,i like "HIM"..she will try every means n ways to find out all she needs to noe
relating to e one she like..
soon..she knows wad claz "HIM" is in..n thanks to sum1..she knows "HIM" name too..
but there she iz stuck..where can she go from here? wad can she do to make herself n him frenz?
every single schooling dae..w/o fail..she wuld walk over to "HIM" claz,peeping in trying to spot "HIM"..bcuz all she wants for now iz to see "HIM" at least once a day..then she iz contended..
she knows it seems sick..she knows it seems weird..n she did realli tried to stop herself..
especially once wen she saw "HIM" waiting for SOMEONE alone in "HIM" claz..she found out ltr it was a girl "HIM" was waiting for .. *thunders rolling;hearts shattering*
she thought to herself tt tis girl muz either be her gf or sum1 "HIM" like..y else wuld "HIM" wait so long n alone for tt girl?
so she tried to stop herself from gg over to "HIM" claz..she tried to stop herself from looking at "HIM"..
she tried to stop herself from looking all over e canteen for "HIM"..
she tried to stop herself from going all groggy in happiness weneva she sees "HIM" coincidentally..
she tried to stop herself from tinking overly much weneva they met hz mani zillion times she n "HIM" will haf eye contact..
failed..she FAILED..
she cant stop herself..n soon she gives up..
u noe..wen e giving up,controlling part stops..e feelings will pour in..
as e feelings gradually increases,all e more she wanna know "HIM"..if it was e past she wuld probably go over to make frenz wif "HIM" but wad iz holding back her?
"HIM" friends..
she swears..really swears tt "HIM" frenz doesnt like her..in fact they most probably find her disgusting, act cute, bitchy..
n at tis point of time she doesnt understand..whY in e world wuld she behaves in tis way?
why in e world wuld her volume be loud n her tone to be pitchy?
but this is her..hz can she change? behaving bitchy iz bcuz she felt happy wen wif her frenz esp wif her buddy..weneva she iz wif her buddy,all e vulgarities,all e super loudhailer volume wuld be activated..
but weneva she iz wif her buddy she iz truly happy..she wuld haf laughters tt ache till e tears roll..
so hz can she go forward n let "HIM" know hz she feels?
n e main point still iz no one wuld support her..no one wuld be happy if she chose to go after "HIM"..plus imagine all e gossips tt will be gg ard in sch..
'neh neh..tt iz e girl hu wanna noe "HIM" lo..so bu yao nian'
-____________________________________-
thank u veri much..but realli..in my poly years..i don wann animore drama-mama life..i had enough in my pri n sec sch years..
in my poly years all i want iz a quiet n nobody knows me life..
EMO EMO GO AWAY
TEARS TEARS GO AWAY~
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boo
Jun. 19th, 2007 | 02:25 pm
location: RP E46A Team3
mood: apathetic
blah blah blah
comments received from 2 of e ones tt know my blog n make known to me r yaking recently..
1. xiaoxian - aei ur blog veri sianz de lehz..u nvr update de lo..
2. huimin - jas..u nvr update ur blog le ar??
n so here i present my entry after like monkey donkey years~
p/s xiaoxian if u happen to be reading my blog now..plz be prepared okay..cuz ill be talking about ''HIM"..e one i haf been blabbering nonstop weneva i meet u esp in sch..
oopsy..too busy in sch.update next time..ta-da~
p/s/s sentosa or NOT?
comments received from 2 of e ones tt know my blog n make known to me r yaking recently..
1. xiaoxian - aei ur blog veri sianz de lehz..u nvr update de lo..
2. huimin - jas..u nvr update ur blog le ar??
n so here i present my entry after like monkey donkey years~
p/s xiaoxian if u happen to be reading my blog now..plz be prepared okay..cuz ill be talking about ''HIM"..e one i haf been blabbering nonstop weneva i meet u esp in sch..
oopsy..too busy in sch.update next time..ta-da~
p/s/s sentosa or NOT?
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boohoo
May. 21st, 2007 | 01:44 pm
location: RP E46A Team3
mood: 
groggy
struggling...still struggling..
tearing...still tearing..
congrats to missytan..she got A B C D and X now..
i totally enjoy my weekend at joey house..
rotting at her hse sleeping on her bed wif aircon waking up to see *cough*him*cough*
^^
sumtimes...i think i shld realli stop getting all upset for no reason..
sumtimes...i think i shld realli stop showin ppl attitude for no reason..
sumtimes...i think i shld close my eyes n think of e ppl ard me..
hz fortunate i am to haf them..
i shld realli stop grumbling complaining n be THANKFUL!
BLOODY SHIT JASLYN TAN CHEW LING!
STOP EVERYTHING OKI
STOP ALL THIS SHIT OKI!!!
DONT THINK U R VERI PITIFUL
DONT THINK THAT E WHOLE WORLD IZ AGAINST U
THINK! THINK OF WHAT U DID WEN PPL CARED FOR U!
THINK! THINK HOW U PUSHED THEM AWAY!!
THINK HOW U PUSHED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AWAY!
tearing...still tearing..
congrats to missytan..she got A B C D and X now..
i totally enjoy my weekend at joey house..
rotting at her hse sleeping on her bed wif aircon waking up to see *cough*him*cough*
^^
sumtimes...i think i shld realli stop getting all upset for no reason..
sumtimes...i think i shld realli stop showin ppl attitude for no reason..
sumtimes...i think i shld close my eyes n think of e ppl ard me..
hz fortunate i am to haf them..
i shld realli stop grumbling complaining n be THANKFUL!
BLOODY SHIT JASLYN TAN CHEW LING!
STOP EVERYTHING OKI
STOP ALL THIS SHIT OKI!!!
DONT THINK U R VERI PITIFUL
DONT THINK THAT E WHOLE WORLD IZ AGAINST U
THINK! THINK OF WHAT U DID WEN PPL CARED FOR U!
THINK! THINK HOW U PUSHED THEM AWAY!!
THINK HOW U PUSHED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM AWAY!
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whiny girl
May. 15th, 2007 | 09:14 am
location: RP E46A Team2
mood: gloomy
i haf a wish now..
i haf a dream now..
i hope n pray n wish tt sumhz sumdae sumwhere
my eyes will close abruptly n never open again.....
im realli tired..im tired from everything...
ya sum ppl might think im being too whiny
being too over..does tis girl haf to react tis way juz bcuz her phone iz stolen?
YES she have to...n her mood bcame tis way isnt onli bcuz of tt reason..
her parents.....her life.....
i wanna cry..i wanna end everything...
im tired..............................
i haf a dream now..
i hope n pray n wish tt sumhz sumdae sumwhere
my eyes will close abruptly n never open again.....
im realli tired..im tired from everything...
ya sum ppl might think im being too whiny
being too over..does tis girl haf to react tis way juz bcuz her phone iz stolen?
YES she have to...n her mood bcame tis way isnt onli bcuz of tt reason..
her parents.....her life.....
i wanna cry..i wanna end everything...
im tired..............................
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the end
May. 12th, 2007 | 10:35 pm
location: e red little stool
mood: crushed
music: 大哥 - Janice
all i wanna do now iz to point my middle finger n scream
all i wanna do now iz to cry non stop
all i wanna do now iz to break down n juz hope tt sumhz my eyes will close n not open eva again
everything has ended..
wif kenny wu
wif mycalcium
wif my dearest beloved 6288 phone
n it all started bcuz of my fucking hair!
i went to toa payoh to buy a hair treatment
n den went to hdb hub wif joey to walk ard..
there was tis clothes fair or sumting sellin nice clothes filthy cheap n i swear its there when this horror nightmare happened..
i went to e toilet wif joey after buying sum tops to try
n it was onli in e cubicle did i realised that my bag pack e small compartment was being cut open!!!
smart me sense sumting wrong n open e zip to find my phone n bingo..
my PHONE WAS STOLEN!!!
TAKEN OUT OF MY BAG UNWILLINGLY!!!
IN THE HANDS OF SUM DISGUSTING FREAKS!!!
CRYING FOR HER RIGHTFUL OWNER WHICH IZ ME!!!!!!!
*kicking my leg widly*
im actually kinda irritated wen ppl asked me
did i file a police report
did i cancel e line
YES i m stupid dumb
but of cuz i know that i HAVE to do all that -_-
so e girl gave attitude to ppl tt care for her
cuz sorry but she iz realli veri pissed off n stuff
n yet ppl r asking her tis kinda redundant questions.....
anyway im so SORRY!
but wad for apologise wen no one noe my blog...
wadeva~
wen i tink of hz my phone iz gotten away from me
fuck..i swear my tears r brimming right now...
i miss my phone!
i realli do..for idiots that noe my blog link n r reading right now
don think tt im exaggerating!
plz oki..there will be stuff u haf soooo much feelins for n wen it iz gotten away from u in a WRONG MANNER will u whine will u complain will u miss ur stuff???
YES u will so shut up!
thank u...
surprisingly wen my phone was lost..
e 1st one i called was e police of cuz n next was actually...........
mycalcium..
surprising can...
i didnt expect my 1st reaction was to call him..
i didnt expect tt i will get panic wen e line i tried callin was off..
i didnt expect hz much i will regret wen i finally reached him....
his voice.....was not cold..but neither did it sounds like he was anxious for me..
i was CRYING oki..
n yet he didnt.....show ani concern nor sympathy..
juz lectures like u shld haf noe beta to put it in ur bagpack wen at crowded place blah blah blah.....
he didnt offered to cum down to toa payoh to find me..
to gif me a hug..
to comfort me..
no none of that...
hz long havent we met....
why cant he use tis chance to meet up?
i realli need his hug his comfort.....
no none of that..
he culd haf offered...
i wont realli let him cum down of cuz..too far n troublesome
but at least offer!
to show me u care for me...
it juz proves tt im right..
i don matter n he don care....
as for kennywu..
i called him too of cuz...
n best..he sounds like
WHY THE HELL THIS MAD GIRL CALL ME N TELL ME FOR..
n u noe wad he said wen i told him?
i deserve it blah blah blah in chinese..
nabei!
despair..yes...
but given up too at e same time..
i noe tt he didnt meant anything wen he asked me all those questions wen he said all those things wen we did sumting..
it was all juz pure flirting..pure flinging ard..
n as usual...i saw everything TOO IMPORTANT
but hu cares?
at least i still saw e truth e light at e end rite?
after police came down n all e shit..
i went over to joey hse n did my RJ n of cuz msn..
thank u to those tt show concern
n sorry to those tt i gave attitude to...
anyway mycalcium was online too
n we chatted till we started showing all e cards...
n finally we broke..
he didnt mention actually but tis time
i noe tt its clear we haf broken up..
see e past entries....
see hz determined i was in breaking
see hz much i wanted in breaking
see hz i don care bout tis r/s
ALL WAS WRONG!!!
i still haf feelins for him
i wasnt realli determined in breaking
i still do care bout tis r/s
i cried oki..
i broke down..
i cried like fuck..
ask joey ask her bro..
i cried i realli cried..
all e tears i haf suppressed came out fall out dropped out..
i wailed i cried.....
i realli seriously truly cried..........
it felt sooooooooo painful..
it still feels painful now..
m i crying?
yes.....................................
we ended not veri nicely..
i asked him on msn whether can i call him to sae nights for e last time
he said no..
cuz his voice......
n i said mine iz too but i still want
he said no he wont answered n i replied u better..
i called n guess wad he did?
he REJECTED MY PHONE CALL!!!
fuck can!
i hate ppl rejecting my phone call n ending e call wen i didnt noe u will...
it is soooooo RUDE!
n so i said in msn
thanks so much for rejecting my phone call blah blah blah n went offline..
ltr on went back n his msn nick was
im such a bastard blah blah..
went offline went down to eat wif those basketball guys...
n while waiting surprisingly joey allowed me to call him..
to call him to ask him can we dont end can we dont break..
im surprised bcuz joey didnt encouraged my tis r/s...
but she passed me her phone to make e call..
i guessed.....wen u see ur frenz crying that bad..
u will allow her to do tings which u disapprove at e start..
oh..i asked joey y did she pass her phone to me
she said
if by calling if by not breaking u will be happier go ahead
^^
what warm words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~
i called..he answered
n i cant sae out e words.......
he got kinda pissed off n wen i said nth le nights
before completing my sentence e line was dead...
he REJECTED my call AGAIN!
realli middle fingers up high up in e air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cum to tink of it..
its better this way..
cuz im that kinda girl..
e more i felt e pain
e faster i will recover..
tis time...hz long will i take?
hz long will i take to stand up from tis MAJOR SETBACK?
i dont noe hu i am
i dont haf e energy to continue
im tired....
i wanna zone into e depressed girl oways at e back at e corner..
dont wanna be e girl hu oways laughed....
but y shld i change?
HELP....................................
ANYONE?
ANY HANDS?
at tis time..tis girl iz typing while tearing..........
n she wonders..what does e future holds for her?
should she juz do something stupid but she wont feel ani more despair..........
all i wanna do now iz to cry non stop
all i wanna do now iz to break down n juz hope tt sumhz my eyes will close n not open eva again
everything has ended..
wif kenny wu
wif mycalcium
wif my dearest beloved 6288 phone
n it all started bcuz of my fucking hair!
i went to toa payoh to buy a hair treatment
n den went to hdb hub wif joey to walk ard..
there was tis clothes fair or sumting sellin nice clothes filthy cheap n i swear its there when this horror nightmare happened..
i went to e toilet wif joey after buying sum tops to try
n it was onli in e cubicle did i realised that my bag pack e small compartment was being cut open!!!
smart me sense sumting wrong n open e zip to find my phone n bingo..
my PHONE WAS STOLEN!!!
TAKEN OUT OF MY BAG UNWILLINGLY!!!
IN THE HANDS OF SUM DISGUSTING FREAKS!!!
CRYING FOR HER RIGHTFUL OWNER WHICH IZ ME!!!!!!!
*kicking my leg widly*
im actually kinda irritated wen ppl asked me
did i file a police report
did i cancel e line
YES i m stupid dumb
but of cuz i know that i HAVE to do all that -_-
so e girl gave attitude to ppl tt care for her
cuz sorry but she iz realli veri pissed off n stuff
n yet ppl r asking her tis kinda redundant questions.....
anyway im so SORRY!
but wad for apologise wen no one noe my blog...
wadeva~
wen i tink of hz my phone iz gotten away from me
fuck..i swear my tears r brimming right now...
i miss my phone!
i realli do..for idiots that noe my blog link n r reading right now
don think tt im exaggerating!
plz oki..there will be stuff u haf soooo much feelins for n wen it iz gotten away from u in a WRONG MANNER will u whine will u complain will u miss ur stuff???
YES u will so shut up!
thank u...
surprisingly wen my phone was lost..
e 1st one i called was e police of cuz n next was actually...........
mycalcium..
surprising can...
i didnt expect my 1st reaction was to call him..
i didnt expect tt i will get panic wen e line i tried callin was off..
i didnt expect hz much i will regret wen i finally reached him....
his voice.....was not cold..but neither did it sounds like he was anxious for me..
i was CRYING oki..
n yet he didnt.....show ani concern nor sympathy..
juz lectures like u shld haf noe beta to put it in ur bagpack wen at crowded place blah blah blah.....
he didnt offered to cum down to toa payoh to find me..
to gif me a hug..
to comfort me..
no none of that...
hz long havent we met....
why cant he use tis chance to meet up?
i realli need his hug his comfort.....
no none of that..
he culd haf offered...
i wont realli let him cum down of cuz..too far n troublesome
but at least offer!
to show me u care for me...
it juz proves tt im right..
i don matter n he don care....
as for kennywu..
i called him too of cuz...
n best..he sounds like
WHY THE HELL THIS MAD GIRL CALL ME N TELL ME FOR..
n u noe wad he said wen i told him?
i deserve it blah blah blah in chinese..
nabei!
despair..yes...
but given up too at e same time..
i noe tt he didnt meant anything wen he asked me all those questions wen he said all those things wen we did sumting..
it was all juz pure flirting..pure flinging ard..
n as usual...i saw everything TOO IMPORTANT
but hu cares?
at least i still saw e truth e light at e end rite?
after police came down n all e shit..
i went over to joey hse n did my RJ n of cuz msn..
thank u to those tt show concern
n sorry to those tt i gave attitude to...
anyway mycalcium was online too
n we chatted till we started showing all e cards...
n finally we broke..
he didnt mention actually but tis time
i noe tt its clear we haf broken up..
see e past entries....
see hz determined i was in breaking
see hz much i wanted in breaking
see hz i don care bout tis r/s
ALL WAS WRONG!!!
i still haf feelins for him
i wasnt realli determined in breaking
i still do care bout tis r/s
i cried oki..
i broke down..
i cried like fuck..
ask joey ask her bro..
i cried i realli cried..
all e tears i haf suppressed came out fall out dropped out..
i wailed i cried.....
i realli seriously truly cried..........
it felt sooooooooo painful..
it still feels painful now..
m i crying?
yes.....................................
we ended not veri nicely..
i asked him on msn whether can i call him to sae nights for e last time
he said no..
cuz his voice......
n i said mine iz too but i still want
he said no he wont answered n i replied u better..
i called n guess wad he did?
he REJECTED MY PHONE CALL!!!
fuck can!
i hate ppl rejecting my phone call n ending e call wen i didnt noe u will...
it is soooooo RUDE!
n so i said in msn
thanks so much for rejecting my phone call blah blah blah n went offline..
ltr on went back n his msn nick was
im such a bastard blah blah..
went offline went down to eat wif those basketball guys...
n while waiting surprisingly joey allowed me to call him..
to call him to ask him can we dont end can we dont break..
im surprised bcuz joey didnt encouraged my tis r/s...
but she passed me her phone to make e call..
i guessed.....wen u see ur frenz crying that bad..
u will allow her to do tings which u disapprove at e start..
oh..i asked joey y did she pass her phone to me
she said
if by calling if by not breaking u will be happier go ahead
^^
what warm words!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~
i called..he answered
n i cant sae out e words.......
he got kinda pissed off n wen i said nth le nights
before completing my sentence e line was dead...
he REJECTED my call AGAIN!
realli middle fingers up high up in e air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cum to tink of it..
its better this way..
cuz im that kinda girl..
e more i felt e pain
e faster i will recover..
tis time...hz long will i take?
hz long will i take to stand up from tis MAJOR SETBACK?
i dont noe hu i am
i dont haf e energy to continue
im tired....
i wanna zone into e depressed girl oways at e back at e corner..
dont wanna be e girl hu oways laughed....
but y shld i change?
HELP....................................
ANYONE?
ANY HANDS?
at tis time..tis girl iz typing while tearing..........
n she wonders..what does e future holds for her?
should she juz do something stupid but she wont feel ani more despair..........
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random super random
May. 11th, 2007 | 02:40 pm
location: RP E46A Team4
mood: 
confused
music: 大哥 - Janice
POST REMOVED
life iz like that ya?
full of truth n lies
full of pretence..
full of all e emotions..
full of everything....
n oh..i dont tink ill get an A for my todays module..
i haf got 2 A from tis faci oki..
but todae....im not paying attention..
typing wildly while ppl r presenting
while he iz talking..
n oh oh..breaking up wif mycalcium will be real soon..
n im trying hard..trying my best to clear kennywu outta my life
by NOT msg-ing him..
n oh oh oh..one of my frenz msn nick was..
NOTHING HAS CHANGED YET EVERYTHING HAS..
i can raise both my hands n my legs up to agree!!!
life iz like that ya?
full of truth n lies
full of pretence..
full of all e emotions..
full of everything....
n oh..i dont tink ill get an A for my todays module..
i haf got 2 A from tis faci oki..
but todae....im not paying attention..
typing wildly while ppl r presenting
while he iz talking..
n oh oh..breaking up wif mycalcium will be real soon..
n im trying hard..trying my best to clear kennywu outta my life
by NOT msg-ing him..
n oh oh oh..one of my frenz msn nick was..
NOTHING HAS CHANGED YET EVERYTHING HAS..
i can raise both my hands n my legs up to agree!!!
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e thoughts running wild
May. 8th, 2007 | 03:39 pm
location: RP E46A Team4
mood: listless
ya my mood haf got much better but my msn nick recently all were writing against hz i tot against kennywu..
n so..here i m ranting everything..
你说的话 我都相信
说得好听 说得甜蜜
你说的每一句 我都相信
为了爱情 失了聪明
听你的话 闭上眼睛
这个梦多美丽 让它继续
你说的话 总那麼好听
你爱不爱 我不能确定
也许你只把它当游戏
我却爱得太用力
i dunno..but tis song lyrics remind me of kennywu..
n its so funni...hz every year we will haf one time THIS kinda ting..
will there be a year wen none of tis will happen?
will there be a year wen i wont fall for him again?
will there be a year wen tis girl realli grow up got mature n stop allowing him to do all e forbidden?
his well known disappearing act..
i shld haf known better..
though.....but i tink i can claim that i know him rite?
understand wad kinda person he iz rite?
or i cant..perhaps 4 yrs of THIS kinda ting..all were juz fooling ard..
all were juz a game..
all were juz nth but my illusions..
so i cant sae i know him well..i cant sae i understand him..
but here he comes n goes again...
DISAPPEARING..
no more reply no more msg n no more fone calls..
all felt so familiar....
e IM SO CHEAP feeling..
e being played n im a FOOL feeling..
e me staring at my fone waiting for his name feeling..
he disappeared again..n i fall into e trap again..
why m i so STUPID?
why cant I control myself my heart my eyes my mind?
why did i let him enter my heart my mind again n again n again
despite knowing CLEARLY that i will get hurt real hurt at e end of e dae?
love n like..tis 2 words which i will define clearly..
i don tink i haf realli fall in LOVE wif sum1 before...
i mean..i cant sae it now..
i dunno wad its like to be in love..but i noe wad its like to be in a r/s..
even for chngzhenhong...e 1st guy tt make me feel tt i wanna be wif him FOREVER
e 1st guy tt make me tink tt im willing to do anything for him
i cant sae for sure now that i love him once..
to me LOVE iz a BIG word...
n i wonder..do i love kennywu?
if not....hz cum every year wen he appear again..i will fall for him?
i will gif him e green light to hurt me?
he iz NOT a good kisser..
so its definitely NOT lust...since so..
wads e feelin then?
love?
sigh..kennywuyouqiang...i don wanna be like other girls tt like u n will stick to u..
i was once but i don wanna be again...
i dont wanna be like other normal girls..i dont wanna stand equally wif them..
i dont want..
tis idea came across to me before..
can i juz tell kennywu..
that..
im willing to be e anonymous girl...
juz lemme like u commit to u wholeheartedly...
u don haf to like me back..
all i ask iz...let me haf a place in ur heart..
no matter hz small no matter hz corner hz dark e place iz..
all i ask for iz u tink of me every single dae..for a second i will be satisfied..
all i ask from u iz u not touching other girls..not involving wif other girls..
juz like hz u USED to be wen u first met me till last year....
can i tell him that?
can i gif him my most precious ting?
e ting i cherished treasured for soooooooo long?
n so..here i m ranting everything..
你说的话 我都相信
说得好听 说得甜蜜
你说的每一句 我都相信
为了爱情 失了聪明
听你的话 闭上眼睛
这个梦多美丽 让它继续
你说的话 总那麼好听
你爱不爱 我不能确定
也许你只把它当游戏
我却爱得太用力
i dunno..but tis song lyrics remind me of kennywu..
n its so funni...hz every year we will haf one time THIS kinda ting..
will there be a year wen none of tis will happen?
will there be a year wen i wont fall for him again?
will there be a year wen tis girl realli grow up got mature n stop allowing him to do all e forbidden?
his well known disappearing act..
i shld haf known better..
though.....but i tink i can claim that i know him rite?
understand wad kinda person he iz rite?
or i cant..perhaps 4 yrs of THIS kinda ting..all were juz fooling ard..
all were juz a game..
all were juz nth but my illusions..
so i cant sae i know him well..i cant sae i understand him..
but here he comes n goes again...
DISAPPEARING..
no more reply no more msg n no more fone calls..
all felt so familiar....
e IM SO CHEAP feeling..
e being played n im a FOOL feeling..
e me staring at my fone waiting for his name feeling..
he disappeared again..n i fall into e trap again..
why m i so STUPID?
why cant I control myself my heart my eyes my mind?
why did i let him enter my heart my mind again n again n again
despite knowing CLEARLY that i will get hurt real hurt at e end of e dae?
love n like..tis 2 words which i will define clearly..
i don tink i haf realli fall in LOVE wif sum1 before...
i mean..i cant sae it now..
i dunno wad its like to be in love..but i noe wad its like to be in a r/s..
even for chngzhenhong...e 1st guy tt make me feel tt i wanna be wif him FOREVER
e 1st guy tt make me tink tt im willing to do anything for him
i cant sae for sure now that i love him once..
to me LOVE iz a BIG word...
n i wonder..do i love kennywu?
if not....hz cum every year wen he appear again..i will fall for him?
i will gif him e green light to hurt me?
he iz NOT a good kisser..
so its definitely NOT lust...since so..
wads e feelin then?
love?
sigh..kennywuyouqiang...i don wanna be like other girls tt like u n will stick to u..
i was once but i don wanna be again...
i dont wanna be like other normal girls..i dont wanna stand equally wif them..
i dont want..
tis idea came across to me before..
can i juz tell kennywu..
that..
im willing to be e anonymous girl...
juz lemme like u commit to u wholeheartedly...
u don haf to like me back..
all i ask iz...let me haf a place in ur heart..
no matter hz small no matter hz corner hz dark e place iz..
all i ask for iz u tink of me every single dae..for a second i will be satisfied..
all i ask from u iz u not touching other girls..not involving wif other girls..
juz like hz u USED to be wen u first met me till last year....
can i tell him that?
can i gif him my most precious ting?
e ting i cherished treasured for soooooooo long?
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=)
May. 8th, 2007 | 01:48 pm
location: RP E46A Team4
mood: grateful
music: blahblahblah
i think everything iz getting better...i mean my mood at sch..
ya still will wanna leave early n stuff but i managed to stay on n understood stuff..^^
as for mrkennywu.......he seems to start his disappearing act again...
he didnt reply me or msg me anymore...
n for mycalcium..sigh..wondering when will he admit tt there isnt ani feelins n ask for break..
for now..tis girl here shant tink too much..
tis girl here will continue to surpress her tears..
tis girl here will survive..
n though most of e ppl doesnt noe my link..
i still wanna thanks them...for knockin sense into me..
for listening to me..
for being there..
thank U!!! ^^
ya still will wanna leave early n stuff but i managed to stay on n understood stuff..^^
as for mrkennywu.......he seems to start his disappearing act again...
he didnt reply me or msg me anymore...
n for mycalcium..sigh..wondering when will he admit tt there isnt ani feelins n ask for break..
for now..tis girl here shant tink too much..
tis girl here will continue to surpress her tears..
tis girl here will survive..
n though most of e ppl doesnt noe my link..
i still wanna thanks them...for knockin sense into me..
for listening to me..
for being there..
thank U!!! ^^
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FINALLY =)
May. 7th, 2007 | 02:05 pm
location: RP E46A Team4
mood: 
accomplished
music: ppl presenting
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
after 024983759830 donkey yrs..i finally understood sumting n i taught my team mates oki! ^^
omg!!! e overwhelming sense of achievement....
lalalalalalala...
oki pardon me for my childishness but hey...lemme be happy nw can..after all..i haf been feelin SUPER LOW for countless dayssssssss..
my life iz pretty messy nw..
actually its NOT that messy but still................
kennywu n mycalcium...sigh..forget it..
tis girl here oways haf a thinking..
wen e boat reach e end it will be straight
n wad if it doesnt goes straight?
bang it straight then ^^
after 024983759830 donkey yrs..i finally understood sumting n i taught my team mates oki! ^^
omg!!! e overwhelming sense of achievement....
lalalalalalala...
oki pardon me for my childishness but hey...lemme be happy nw can..after all..i haf been feelin SUPER LOW for countless dayssssssss..
my life iz pretty messy nw..
actually its NOT that messy but still................
kennywu n mycalcium...sigh..forget it..
tis girl here oways haf a thinking..
wen e boat reach e end it will be straight
n wad if it doesnt goes straight?
bang it straight then ^^